5 Easy Ways to Healthy Self-Esteem that helps you melt your Stress away
Has it ever crossed your mind that self esteem and stress could be linked to each other? When think look at this, it turns out that your self-esteem is how you value yourself as an individual, your beliefs, and your capabilities. The little voice in your head or heart that speaks to you when you feel you’re not good enough to do something? It might baffle you to know that:
Self-esteem has very little to do with talents or skills!
It has something to do with resilience and positivity. Those with a high self-esteem are usually the ones with positive characteristics. They are more capable of handling challenges that life throws their way. They know how to build strong relationships and aren’t afraid to be their own selves, regardless of what others think. People with high self-esteem recover from setbacks faster than those who only see the negative in everything. They are resilient and pick themselves up, no matter what.
They are well equipped at handling stress, not because they have some mystery gene the rest of us lack, but because they believe, in who they are and what they’re capable of achieving. And this is not a judgment at all. We all have our ways of handling stress and sometimes life throws us a curve ball and everything just seems bleak. It’s when we are not able to continue and can’t find the energy to even try, when we know we are in trouble. In my family asking for help was seen as weak. I had to work hard to overcome this belief and my new belief looks more like this:
“asking for help and letting others see your vulnerability shows strength and self awareness of your needs”!
So let us look at five ways to build up your self-esteem that can help you manage stress:
- Don’t compare yourself to others.
I know, easier said than done! But if you manage that, I promise you life will be that much better and lighter and richer!
At the workplace, at the gym, in magazines, on TV, on the street – people are everywhere. In addition, we tend to only see what’s good in everybody else and what’s lacking in ourselves. Just take facebook for instance. Have you ever felt that everyone elses life is just perfect and amazing on facebook? Fun family? Fun food? Fun dog? Fun outings? Fun Friends? Fun Fun Fun and PERFECT!
This causes an enormous amount of stress and pressure on yourself. Instead of comparing yourself to everyone else, remind yourself of all the positive qualities you have – you’ll end up surprising yourself, and you’ll see yourself in a different light with more positivity and pride.
- Set realistic goals.
Be honest about your goals. The point of having goals and reaching them is to make sure you have enough time to finish your work without sabotaging the quality. If you have a heavy workload and your boss asks you to add some more, be polite but firm. Learn to say ‘no’ without fearing the repercussions. I have to admit, I am still on my L plates and say “Yes” when I know I shouldn’t – but hey, at least I know what I should have said.
By clearly specifying your goals, you’re setting yourself up for success and a boost in self-esteem. Once you’ve reached your goals, treat yourself to something nice and I am not talking cake, wine, ice cream or even pizza! I am talking massage, a facial, some sexy underwear, a good book or trip to the cinema! It will boost your morale and help you plan your upcoming goals on a high note with clarity and focus.
- Work on your body language.
Body language is something we undermine completely. Bad posture is a direct reflection of your mindset. If you find yourself not sitting properly, take a 5-minute break, even if you remain seated. Just straighten your back, roll your shoulders back, and take a deep breath. Also, maintain eye contact when engaging your boss or a co-worker in conversation is crucial for healthy self-esteem. Our Wellness Tribe on Tribe has a free posture challenge going this week if you would like to join just click on the above link.
- Emergency stress stoppers.
These are things you can do anytime you’re faced with a stressful situation.
Each one of them takes only a few seconds but their benefits are immeasurable:
– Count to 10 slowly
– Take deep breaths (count slowly to 4 when you breathe in and hold for 4 and then exhale to the count of 4)
– Excuse yourself from the situation for any reason and explain you’ll handle it later (yes you can do this! Better then a mental brain fry or an explosion)
– Set your watch 10 minutes ahead
– Break down the problem into smaller parts, and tackle each one on its own
– Do something kind for someone else
– Meditate and learn how to be in the present and really take it all in (download my free stress less meditation on www.susanne-mcallister.com)
- Find time to do things you enjoy.
People who take time out for themselves on a regular basis, even if it’s just five minutes each day, are calm and more in control of their emotions and self-awareness. This is a great boost to their self-esteem. In addition, relaxation techniques help lower cortisol and adrenaline levels.
Some examples may be:
– Learn something new (always wanted to learn Spanish? Guitar?)
– Connect with friends, family and neighbours (face to face = in real time not face time!)
– Be physically active (Sex is good – with a loved one!, Dance, Gym, Walk)
– Seek out a new hobby, or rekindle your love for an old one
– Get a massage
– Read a book
I hope these tips helped you a little to put things into perspective. At the end I always ask myself the same old question that I learned from a wise Zen Master (thank Barry J)
In 100 years would this still matter?
(Barry is a rather contemporary Zen Master, so his wise saying had some other colourful words in there…. Something like….
Who would anyone give a …..about this in 100 years, would you?
Or: Is it worth your sanity?
Know where I am coming from by now!
My last words for today are something that I really do need to embrace more myself: “don’t be so hard on yourself”!
If your best friend would talk to you the way you talk to yourself when you feel stressed out, would you still be friends?
I wouldn’t think so!
Let me know what you think! I love to hear from you!
Lots of Love
Your Pocket Coach